Switzerland sketches and peach leaf curl

I did some en plein air sketchesd whilst up in the peaks in Switzerland . These are intended as aids to me and i do them for the fun of sketching . They make snese to me anyway , each one captures something that intrigued me at the time .

 On another subject , my peach or nectarine trees have peach leaf curl . no fruit this year , a disaster but i think i can fix it for next year , i like a challenge . The rest of the garden is still going crazy , i had to make a new veg raised bed for some borlotti beans (i think need to check the packet) some cabbage and a courgette . Its all planted too close but i can always harvest young i hope or transplant the cabbages to the front bed when the peas are done . im juggling but its fun . the lawn is nearly levelled and ready for sowing with seed and the strawberries are full of flowers . ive learned they can slow or stop cancer tumours forming and since both my parents have had  , and recovered , from cancer strawberries are on the diet big time .

Im loving my life right now , it rained lst night and the garden smells fabulous . i have scented stock overwintered and flowering and the violas are suddenly full of scent , delicious after rain the scent floods the gardens . cant wait for the sweet peas to flower on the balcony !  

back from Switzerland

Well , Switzerland , France , Germany ,Luxembourg and Belgium . We missed out on Italy and Holland narrowly .  Strange how a trip to the Swiss alps was nearly stopped by a volcano in Iceland . My flight was cancelled so we jumped in the car ad took the ferry . Great decision it was fantastic and the sunsets were amazing . Ill update the blog with photos and info as i process them . Now im back and my garden exploded while i was away ! everything needs either potting up or planting out and i still have that lawn to seed though its nearly flat now .  i have piles of laundry everywhere but im happy ! its spring and its beautiful . I looked at all the Swiss gardens i could find and they filled out during the week i was there . Full of blossoms and dandelions and trained fruit trees . The garden centres were amazing but i dont think i can bring live plants to England so i didnt buy .  Ive got ideas for my fruit trees though.....
 Im struggling settling in . Im dizzy . I wasnt dizzy in Switzerland but i am here . stress? dont know , im ignoring it .  I woke up filled with dread for the morning BUT happy also , i know , weird . I got the kids ready for school . oldest is still off with a torn muscle , (yesterday) and it was stressful but then when we strted walking my sons hand slipped into mine and my daughter walked nicely beside me and it was all ok . I echanged conversation with school mums , a friend of the kids launched herself into my lap for a cuddle and the sun was shining . I realised i NEED this walk to school , wanting to opt out holds me back . Its nice . Its good , i can look at peoples gardens and see the Abby on the hill . I can think on the way back and clear my head . Nice . I must remember that tomorrow . 

It was amazingly special there but its also amazingly special here . full of smiles :-)
Swiss houses are beautiful .

Hyacinths and snow cats

My hyacinth is nearly there , we hav snow again outside but warmth and light insode so they have been quietly getting on with it and it wont be long untill i get the scent from them

My geraniums have perked up too , ive been moving them into the sun , when we havei t , and some weeks back i gave them a light feed . It did them a lot of good ..

The seeds havnt done much except steam up the propegator , who knows what they are up to tucked up in there . But no signs of growth yet .

On the work side , im slowly dressing my cat . Many many layers will end up on the fur getting finer and finer untill it achieves real depth and looks right .

This is the other painting im working on right now  .  It started in acrylics but it progressed to oils , im feeling the urge to work on the rocks soon  as a change from the fur .

morning

Its getting harder . The side effects are getting worse . I feel anxious , stressed and im in pain . pain in my chest , pain under my arm , pain in my ankle , all my joints , my head , i dont know if its stress causing the pain , tablets (its a listed side effect ) or something else or a mix of all three . Im sick of painkillers . Im sick of jaw pain from grinding my teeth and im so dizzy that if i stand up im in danger of colaspe . \The kids are here and husband is asleep in bed  , since my son has ADHD and super intelligence and my youngest a piercing repetitive voice im exhausted . and trying not to be low . I plan to bake bread today when i can stand . ive never done it before so ive no idea how this will turn out but hey , thats the fun of it . and maybe plant some chilli and sweet pepper seeds and maybe put the mini greenhouse outside where it needs to live . First i need to be able to stand up and thats proving difficult .  Im determined to persevere with these tablets and to recount how it feels to get better from depression on here as a documentary for others  , both professional and people like me . who are struggling through it . I WILL get better . I will get my life back and im determined to get every drop of happiness i can from life while im doing it . I want to paint . I Will get myself on the wildlife art circuit one day , I will get an agent , i will achieve what i want to achieve . i WILL get my books published and grow my own fruit and veg on the balcony and in the garden and cook healthy and bring up my kids . If i can keep the house tidy thats an added bonus . What i also need to do though is tell myself no stress . If i have a good day good , if i dont , ce la vie .  Its ok . Im not superwoman and im never going to be   , dont want to be , i just want to be healthy , happy and laid back and no longer in so much pain . Thats all . What so many people take for granted is something i dream of . 
Im also dreaming of Switzerland next year . I hope so much i can go . I need mountains like i need air sometimes . I need to be an artist for a while and feel free  , to sketch and just to enjoy .  Thats a year away and my balcony needs to be my joy untill then . It ever hurts my arms to type . And these pills are supposed to make me better ? well , they have in one respect , im not so scared . not terrified of some dark cloud over me everyday . Not overwhelmed by the thought of all i have to do , thats a big improvement .

About me

Hi all , this is a blog from an English mother with three kids a craving for Switzerland oh and im an artist :-)) oil , watercolour ,acrylic, pencil , pastel , anything ! even walls . I take photographs , i write . Im recovering (i hope) from severe depression and so im going to share how thats working . Im starting to love life again . This year i said hello to the Autumn , i enjoyed it for the first time in years , wooho ! we went chestnutting in the forests , and eat them at night on my new balcony , which ill finish building next year , we carved and lit a pumpkin ,. we toasted mashmallows out there .The only thing i dont have is mountains , BAH !! lol , but i can go to them maybe in two years so untill then i shall paint them instead . I also garden on my balcony . I love it , pure happiness to sit there with a coffee and just enjoy ., the best therapy . oh , no , thats chocolate :-)))

This bit is finished now  , thats the door to my studio . Welcome :-)