WRONG PILLS

Ok , i havnt been writing because I was given pills for my pain which ended up sending me into severe depression for days . Bad bad bad . Stopped the pills , the pain is better then that . Getting well is hard . everytime i try to sort one thing it affects all the rest . AAGH .
 Im back though .   A trip to the wildlife park soon made me feel better , the weather is wonderful , the animals were great and i got plenty of new reference . perfect . That was yesterday . Today ive been in the garden planting up the new fruit trees and sorting out the borders and the weather is STILL great , maybe we have spring at last ?? some daffodils would be nice :-)

This is a Pallas cat from Mongolia :-) one of the photos from the wildlife park trip .

plants and pills

This morning was not the greatest . My depression pills have been increased and there are side effects . A myriad of them ,the worst three being tiredness,pain and jumpiness in my muscles . This morning was a wipeout i couldnt stand up for long . This afternoon though i needed to get out so i woke up husband for a trip tp the garden centre and it was fantastic ! so many herbs and veg and flowers and i was seriously tempted by a patio Peach or Nectarine . Next month maybe im still trying not oto spend :-) i did manage to get  tray of mixed golden Violas . I was hoping for scent  , they didnt smell today but it was cold , they may release fragrance on a warm day , wait and see for me :-) I planted them straight away .

I also planted seeds , at last , its time ! I planted two pots of Chives , some Nasturtians so i can eat the flowers in my salads and some Sweet Peas for scent  . I chose an old fashioned variety that is supposed to be gloriously fragrant . I hope so !

This is my new tiny greenhouse . It will go outdoors soon but for now its living indoors . maybe in a day or two it will move out  , i need to find something to weight the bottom down with , it gets windy here sometimes and i can see a disaster happening . i lost one of these years ago to a hailstorm so its handy that its portable , i can always whip it indoors in adverse weather conditions :-) The propegators i borrowed form my mum , thanks mum , no , i didnt buy them ! still being good .

sunshine !

Second making of the apple cake . I had to use white flour this time and it came out a bit too stodgy but we eat it anyway and it was delicious !  I love the  spices in it and its full of apples so the taste is great !

Oh and i started some potatoes chitting . for those that dont know that means putting them in something like this egg box so they start shooting , its supposed to give an earlier crop . I think they will go into the small front garden allotment patch as husband calls it :-)) I got some pea seeds today also i think i will have potatoes one side peas the other . Husband says i will be digging potato plants out forever if i do that but i thought we always need potatoes . This could end in disaster , OR a lot of potatoes . forever . :-))

This was yesterdays lunch . vegetable chilli and lovely bread , i really enjoyed it . My husband cooked this meal and we used what veg we had , delicious . cant wait to eat my own veg again .

Todays dinner ready to roast

Dinner ! full of flavour and roasted in olive oil , good for me :-) I eat it with warmed chiabatta bread :-)

The Angelfish are at it again , more eggs ! the last lot of eggs didnt survive so im trying it differentky this time . All the platies and guppies are growing really well in their breeding trap and they are starting to gain colour now :-)

Wishing the sun would shine and the third eyebrow .

Well , the sun did shine , for 30 minutes the last two days , i really needed it  but we have bad weather on the way in again , and its freezing . No joke i had the heating on all day and i was wearing my coat indoors . Me that doesnt feel the cold .  
I woke up this morning unwilling to move but i managed it with the thought of a hot coffee and in one hour it would all be over ( the school run ) .   My son saw me said hello mum and i realised he had a third eyebrow . Not a good start . it was deep purple  , he slept on a felt tip and no , it didnt come off . Then my daughter said mum i cant move my neck it really hurts and i felt so low and drained i called for help . Mum came and gave us a much needed  lift to school my daughter would have been in too much pain walking 20 minutes in minus 6 degrees c with a stiff neck .  I had coffee at mums and walked back past the aAbbey on the hilll in the sun , it hurt to breathe but i enjoyed the walk :-) 

I planned gardening , so i went out , fed the birds more seeds , bought in a planter full of soil and happily dug my trowel in , ortried to , Frozen solid .  I thawed it out in front of the radiator :-)

I planted it up with some Polyanthus i bought and i love the finished look . This was an old trug i had for collecting garden produce but it went a bit rusty so i recycled it into a planter .

Another great discovery this week , some Hyacinths that i can grow on and enjoy the scent from , i chose white ones  , and these are the plants i planted up in the trug ..

Please note the sunshine !

This fruit came from the local market , we got there just as he was closing down and we got it super cheap ! i let the kids loose on it they are now stained with cherry juice :-)

On the baby news , we now have four baby Platies and a LOT of new baby Guppies , to many to count ,. they are all in the same breeding trap now which is bigger than the other one and they have a constant flow of bubbles to airate and cool the water because they are trapped under the light and they may overheat . The sides of the trap are perforated to allow the water flow in . If you enklarge this image you can just make out small grey brown babies in there with the orange ones . there are about 20 you cant see :-)

This also happened , the Golden nugget Plec is just above the Snowball Plec and this is danger ! amazingly they didnt fight . so close ...

 Ive been finding things hard . Im so sleepy and i hurt , everywhere hurts . the doc tells me its stress and he has upped my tablets for depression again . Ill take them and see . but im so tired...... and im having intense dreams  , side effecs i know , and the joint pain . Still , im willing to suffer a lot to get better , and i am . Im still healthy eating , tonight we had chorizio sausages which twizzled the kids tongues up :-)) spring greens , new potatoes and baked butternut squash that my smallest girl and i loved .   Im keeping it up and im determined to enjoy my life to the full  . Im really feeling the lack of sun . soon , hopefully soon it will come back .

No sun

There is no sun no sun no sun in England for DAYS and DAYS more to go . i have S A D and this is major bad .  I need sunlight or i will wither away :-) . Mornings are hard . That first hour depression hits and its a struggle to remember the rest of the day will not be like this . Whats hard in the morning will be easy in the afternoon but oh boy im stressed .   A lot of the point of this blog is to give myself a reason . A reason to get up , a reason to do things , a reason to enjoy and it works too . At night instead of nasty images in my mind i see herbs . VAST improvement .  I do things so i can take a photo and upload . I had plenty of purpose before with painting and writing and photography but i found i needed something new and different to grab my attention and blogs got me . I loved them , so much feel good shared by other people gives me a massive boost . :-)

Two more soon to be mummies :-)

I cooked , it helps , i feel productive and nurturing feeding my family good stuff .

My husband weighed the potatoes and didnt realise he made a potato man .

Shepherds pie filling

The final article , it was yummy . Comfort food .

At the end of the day before the night terrors set in i can remember i have so much to be greatful for and no reason to be depressed . Im a positive person and i will get better . I have to give myself time , look after myself and capture every moment . I have to remember that in the morning . :-)